True Friends

How many do we really have? I mean - I have a lot of acquaintances... people from work, people from my childhood, people from church, people from school, and just people I know. How many are true friends though? How many would really be there for you when you need them? How many are there for you even when you don't really need them? How many of those that aren't are you there for all the time, even though in reality - they don't do the same for you? I pondered this question myself today after a few things happened this weekend and watching DJ over the past few weeks with one of her new friends....
Everyday almost she rushes home to get on the phone with a new Friend she has made at school... this little girl has talked DJ into giving her the login and password to one of her webkins (is that even how you spell it?) - no big deal - kids will be kids .... but DJ puts her phone on speaker and talks to this little girl and the little girl NEVER listens to DJ talk, always interrupts DJ, and completely disregards the fact that DJ might possibly have something to say too. It is literally all about this little girl. I questioned DJ on it and she doesn't seem to understand that this isn't really the kind of friend you want. Then I thought about it myself and I am really surprised at how I too am a little similar. I have several friends that when they call me - it is all about them ... they are always interrupting me when I talk to talk about their day - I mean hello... wait your turn! Sometimes - they have already had their turn and I guess just want round 2! Ha Ha! I also have friends that each and every time they ask me to help them with something or do something with them - I always do ... but when I ask them - even way in advance ... it seems that they don't do the same for me ... are these really true friends ... and how many true friends do we have.... I am not really sure.

Burnt Waffles & Football

What do they have in common? For me - Saturday's. Every Saturday - I go to the waffle house and enjoy a burnt waffle and bacon :-) Yup - It's my "Cheers" - where everybody knows your name! (special shout out to Mike, Erika, James, Patti & everyone else!) They are so awesome!
After waffle house - we go to the grocery store and then head off for a day of football!
Day filled with football at that. So ... the fact that you do not see Saturday posts ... (except for right now) are because I am too busy eating burnt waffles and watching football! Go Tigers!

My Momma aka Mimi

My mom is probably truly one of my best friends ... now I don't tell her everything, but I do tell her almost everything. She is a wonderful mother and the best MIMI in the world. It doesn't matter the time of day or night, I could call momma and she would drop whatever she was doing to come and help me if I needed (right mom!?) I mean yeah - she gets on my nerves from time to time but heck that is what moms are for right? My mom has been through a lot in her life. I admire her because she has been a strong woman through a lot of hard times. Being a preacher's wife can't be easy. She often has to move from her "home" only to start completely over again. Imagine explaining having to leave all your friends to your 3 small children. Imagine having to tell them when they are teenagers! Even harder! (yeah we were never happy!) Things I remember specifically about my mom - are her having to give up her piano and bedroom suite that she had had for years and years because dad was called into Evangelism. I remember several times when we were teenagers participating in sports that Mom would go without so that we would have money to eat when the bus stopped on the way back home. My mom made some true sacrifices in her life to make sure that her children always got what they needed and often what we wanted. I think that there are a lot of times that the three of us (well not me as much ya know lol) forget about all the times she did these things for us. I think we grew up and took them for granted. She has had to deal with hard times in their Churches and had to be strong for my dad when things were tough. I truly believe that a good pastor has a wonderful wife right beside him. My momma is a lot like me - OK maybe I am like her - she speaks her mind and can get fired up pretty fast ... but one thing she is not is FAKE! I can't stand fake people!
I am so thankful for such a wonderful mother and friend. She is an even better Mimi! DJ loves her. She is consistently coming to spend time with DJ and now that she has a grand baby close to her I know she spends as much time with Madalynn as she can. I know it saddens mom that her other 4 grand kids are too far away to spend as much time with - but they head up to Ohio as often as they can.
First she was my mother, but forever she is my friend.

Love you Mom!
(since I just posted a pic of my parents - I posted an older pic of my mom as a baby - I love this pic!)

Monday's Big Mistake

OOPS! So ... Let me take you back to the week before last ... I had talked to my Nanny and she had told me that they had gone to my cousin Evan's Grandparent's Day at his School. While they were there, there was a little girl that was upset and ended up crying because here grandparent's lived too far away to come to Grandparent's day. This made me very sad. Sad for this little girl but also for DJ. For those of you that know - DJ's bio-logical father gave up his rights about 4 or 5 years ago. Since then, she has seen her Paternal Grandmother a few times a year and only saw her Paternal Grandfather when she was with her Aunt - and she only saw him a few times a year before he passed away last month. So - as far as grandparents though - my parents have always been a constant in her life - they call her a few times a week and my mom comes into town at least once a month to spend time with DJ and of course we visit them too. My parents live in Lexington NC so they are about 3.5 hours away from us.
I decided that after my Nanny told me that - I would make sure to invite my parents to Grandparent's Day. After all, I had never even invited them - I just assumed it was too far.
Now - let me state my opinion about this Grandparent's Day, Donut's for Dad and Muffin's with Mom thing ..... what if children don't have Grandparents, Dad's, or Mom's in their life or in this state or alive? Should we put small children, or even children at all through this? OK. I am done with that....
So back to my story - the day after my Nanny told me this story - DJ brings home her "Grandparent's Day Slip" - this must be a sign I thought - so I called my mom and invited her. She said that as long as it was a Monday or Friday that they were there (my mom works T,W, & TH) I told her it was the next Monday. I got home and went to fill out the form and couldn't find it so I sent a note to DJ's teacher - letting her know that DJ's grandparent's would be there and that it was going to be a surprise to her since they lived 3.5 hours away and she wouldn't be expecting it. I also asked her to verify the time. (after all - I knew it was Monday - just couldn't remember what time my parent's needed to be there) She emailed me back - I spotted the time and called my mom. 8:30 it was.
So.... I called my parents on my way to work Monday to make sure they were on their way - and they were - I was so excited! I wished I could be there to see the surprise on DJ's face!
About 20 min after 8, my mom called me to let me know that they were standing in the office at the school .... an Grandparent's Day was that Friday! I could not believe this! My parent's left home at 5 AM to be there and I had screwed up the dates! I went through my email - - - and sure enough - the email said it was Friday the 26th at 8:30 AM! I was sooo upset!
The school was awesome about it and let my parents go up and see DJ and get a quick look at her class. I was very upset at myself for making such a crazy mistake but my parent's were totally cool about it. I have great parents!

Proud Sister

I am so proud of my little brother. By little I mean - I was born before him... He is definitely not my little brother in any other way. He is such an awesome father. If you would have told me 5 years ago that my brother would be married to such a wonderful woman and would be such a wonderful father, I am sure that I would have laughed at you. Not that he wasn't capable. Obviously, he was... just didn't seem at the time like he would ever go down that road - much less be so awesome at it. Madalynn turned 1 this past March. I can remember the day she was born. Brian was such a proud father. She was a surprise baby but it seems that those are the best ones! OK back to my brother (because I could talk about Madalynn all day) ... he was just recently ordained as a Deacon at Promisland Baptist Church in Lexington, NC. I am so proud of him for getting back on the right road in life. I don't claim to be living my life exactly as my parents taught me - I don't believe in pretending that I do... isn't that just as wrong? Anyway, my brother was - up until about 3 years ago - the wild child of our family ... now he is the most well behaved :-)
He didn't always follow the path that we were raised to follow and to think now that he is doing so good in his life makes me so proud of him. Sometimes there are days that I just think of him and cry - happy tears of course.
There is this one song that always makes me think of him .... George Strait's "Best Day of My Life" The lyrics that remind me of him are:

His fifteenth birthday rolled around, (actually I think it was more like his 19th or something) Classic cars were his thing. (and it was brand new not classic) When I pulled in the drive with that old Vette I thought that boy would go insane. When you're in your teens Your dreams revolve around four spinnin' wheels. And as he sat behind the wheel he said, Dad, this could be the best day of my life. I've been dreamin' day and night about the fun we've had. Just me and you doin' what I've always wanted to. I'm the luckiest boy alive This is the best day of my life. Standin' in a little room back of the church with our tuxes on, (there were no tux's but you get the point) Lookin' at him I say, I can't believe, son that you've grown. He said, Dad, this could be the best day of my life. I've been dreamin' day and night of bein' like you. Now it's me and her, Watchin' you and mom I've learned, I'm the luckiest man alive, This is the best day of my life.

He is definitely a lucky man - and I am one proud sister!

My Grandpa

Friday was my grandpa's birthday. He turned 76. This man amazes me. Just last week I called my grandparent's house and my Nanny told me that something had happened at their house (I forgot what but it had to do with a tree stump) and it busted their water line (or something like that) and that when my grandpa called their plumber he told them that he didn't do that (whatever it was that needed done!) So rather than calling another plumber my Grandpa decides he will just take care of it himself. He climbed under the house... yeah a 76 year old man (OK on THAT day he was 75 but he was about to be 76) ... can you believe that? He also spent hours outside digging and working on fixing whatever had to be fixed. This is not the first time he has done something like this... he retired quite a few years back and sometimes I think he works harder now than he did before! He is truly an All American kind of man... the one that you could still trust a handshake, lover of Nascar, lover of the Braves, full of wisdom and advice.
I know that through anything in life that I could call my Grandpa and he would do everything in his power to help me... now this most likely will come with words of wisdom on how I can do better and make sure that "this" (whatever I am asking his help with) doesn't happen anymore.. but we need that right?
Anyway - I love this man and I know that I don't tell him nearly enough. He is truly the best Grandpa that anyone could want. He has 5 grandchildren and 6 great-grandchildren and we are all truly blessed to have such a wonderful man in our lives.
I can only hope that when I am his age that I have half of the wisdom that he does.

Blogging

So - I started this blog and sent the link to my mom ... I really didn't think that she would follow it but she is :-) YAH! Yesterday she emailed me "What no blog today" ha ha. Wow, my week was busy! My blogs for the first of the week were actually all written on Saturday and scheduled ... I had planned on writing more for the rest of the week but wow - I got busy!! This week I started managing a new department at work ... I joke and say I am a rubberband at work - I just go in work out processes and seem to move on ... I am not sure if it will stay this way of course - but that's the way it has been on and off - I love it. This week I ended up working - counting the hours at home working on processes - over 60 hours..... I am so tired - so this is why my blogging was daily and then stopped... I am going to do better but for now all I have to say is that I need sleep!!!!!
So I am going to go to bed and wake up in the morning and do what I do every Saturday morning .... go to the WH (where they know me by name) and eat my burnt waffle!!!
See there are so many things you didn't know about me right!

My Sister and I

I think my mom was lucky in the sense that Carla and I never argued as girls - at least not that I can remember. We are making up for it now though. Sad isn't it? I can't really explain why though. I guess just because both of us lead a very busy and stressful life and don't take the time for ourselves or our sisterhood that we should.
When we were girls, we always shared a room and yet generally always got along - I mean I am sure we had a few arguments like sisters do, but really I can't remember one of them or what they were about.
I don't think Carla every played with anything - I joke and say that Carla went from playing with her Fisher Price toys straight to playing with the curling iron. Carla was always the beautiful one and always looked perfect and in place - Me, I would have just rather been dressed in whatever and reading a book. Actually - we are still that way - Carla always looks perfectly put together and I would go anywhere in my PJ's - actually I do. Since Carla never played with anything and no one ever seemed to get that - she still ended up with all the same girly toys at Christmas and her birthdays that I did. When she got Barbies it was of up most importance to Carla for them to be kept in the boxes because one day they would be worth something. I think she still has all the Raisin Men from Hardees. She kept any happy meal toy she ever had in the package. I really can't remember he playing with anything girly but she was far from a tomboy. She liked to be outside with the horses and four wheeler and riding bikes with Brian though. Me, I was content playing with my Barbies or reading a book. I think Brian played Barbies with me more than Carla ever did. (he will kill me for saying that but he has a lot of practice to be able to play with his sweet baby girl one day - for the record he was always Ken) Anyway - One story I will never forget was a Barbie that Carla had that one day when she was gone I pulled out from the top of the closet and took her out of the box - to this day - I can remember exactly what that Barbie looked like... and the look on Carla's face when she came into our bedroom to see that I had destroyed her perfect barbie by removing her from the safe box she had been in for years. Last year for Christmas, I purchased a collector Barbie for Carla that looked as close as I could find to the one I took from her so many years ago.
I will never forget the day that she got married and moved to Ohio. I was so happy to finally at 18 years old be getting my own room but so sad that my sister was leaving me and moving so far away. I wanted her to get married and move out ... but ummm down the street was OK with me! We had never been close but I didn't want her to move so far away - she had taught me everything I knew ... how to put on makeup, how to curl my hair, how to shave my legs... all the girly things you need to know Carla had taught me - what if I needed to be taught something else!?
Ultimately, I am glad that she moved to Ohio because had she not, her life would not have turned out the way it has - although like me Carla has had some bumps in the road - she has a great life. When I think about it, maybe we argue so much now because finally the two of us do have so much in common. Demanding jobs, children, stress - just to name a few.
Lately, because over the past year - Carla and I have started arguing more and more each time we get to see each other - which is not often - I haven't called her as much as I should. I am going to try and do better. Love you Carla.

Give - Save - Spend

GIVE - SAVE - SPEND

This is something that we have started for DJ. Each week she is given a $6 allowance. $3 from myself and $3 from Brad. She has 3 jars decorated (Give by Kristin, Save by DJ, & Spend by Me) that she puts - on most weeks - $2 dollars in each jar.

By most weeks, I mean that the $2 that DJ earns for her SPEND bucket are for being good and getting good grades ($1 each). In the event that she gets in trouble or brings home a bad grade, instead of punishing her by taking her entire allowance, we still allow her to have the GIVE and SAVE but not the $1 that she lost for a bad grade or getting into trouble (this has only happened once anyway - at least since we started this). If a dollar is lost for one of these reasons, it then goes to the GIVE jar.

SPEND: At any point and time DJ can take this money out of the jar at any amount. She can take $1 or everything in the jar - this jar is completely hers to do with whatever she chooses.

SAVE: This jar is for something DJ wants that is more expensive - something she must save for. I must admit that DJ is actually very good at this - she saved $120 earlier this year for something special that she wanted. She is not allowed to retrieve any money in this jar until she has at least $50 in it. If she wants to save more than $50 she can - but she can never take less than $50. Obviously the object of this is to teach her the importance of saving money. Because we grew up generally poor (not hungry or homeless type of poor - but poor as in our family struggled and rarely ever got anything extra as in we didn't need it it) I give to DJ probably a little more than I should, but also try to teach her the importance of saving, and that you must work for your money - it doesn't grow on trees ya know!

GIVE: This jar must also reach $50 before retrieving any money from it - however this money will be given to someone or something of DJ's choice. A Charity, Church, or Family in Need. She already has her first Family in Need picked out and I was very proud of her for choosing this particular family.

I hope that this project really teaches DJ a lot! I will keep you all posted when she reaches her goals and starts again!

You're Gonna Miss This

Friday afternoon I was at lunch with a friend when my mom called. I actually don't even remember what she called for but as I was getting off the phone she says "hold on daddy wants to talk to you". He got on the phone and told me that he thought about me the night before because he saw a video on TV that made him think of me. He says I don't know what the song was called but it was a long haired guy. I immediately knew what he was talking about and began to tear up because every time I heard the song I would think it reminded me so much of my life. I told dad it was "Your Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins and that I knew what song it was because I thought of my parents and my life with DJ every time I heard the song - he got chocked up and I began to cry too. My dad is such a wonderful man. He always has been but over the past few years he has become a different kind of wonderful.
I always love to talk to my dad because I rarely do talk to him as dad isn't one for the phone and I live 3 hours away from him. Generally when dad calls it's to let DJ and I know he loves us and to call him if we need anything. Up until this past year, anytime I saw "Dad" come up on my caller id - I automatically thought something was wrong. Over the past year though my dad has called me more often and most every time it is just to tell me that he loves me or that something reminded him of me. I put my dad through some some very hard times in his life but I honestly believe that because of those things my dad has become an even better preacher and pastor than he was before. Each year that passes my dad becomes a greater dad, pastor, man, and friend - which is amazing to me because he has always been great at each of those things. Most people that were raised in the same enviroment and upbringing that I was could not say that no matter what they do or choices that they make their parents will still be there and support them. I can. No matter what my decisions in life are, I know that my parents will never shut me out of their life. They may not agree with my decisions, but they will just give them to God.
One of the best messages that my dad preaches "Ride out Your Storm" he talks of one of the greatest storms in his life. A storm that I put him into, a storm that has made all of our lives enriched with a wonderful little girl that none of us could imagine life without. A storm that I know my dad would NEVER choose to give up. My dad has gone through a lot in his 50 + years of living, he recently in the past few years lost not only his brother but also his best friend - something that was so hard to watch my dad go through. There are so many things in my dad's life that he has gone through - some things I am not at liberty to just tell the world, but each of those things have made my dad a better person and in most cases my dad was the bigger better person and did as the Bible says and "turned the other cheek". I cannot think of a greater man. My dad truly is my hero.
If you haven't heard this song, check out the link to the video (click on the title of this blog)- it's a great song with a wonderful meaning.

What is in the Middle?

So - who am I? What is it that is truly in the middle? Some days I am still figuring it out. I imagine that there will be people from all walks of my life that read my blog, my family, close friends, friends I haven't talked to in years, childhood friends, co-workers, and more. Some of you know the Mandy that you have recently met or work with and some of you know almost as much that you could know about me. I have wanted to start a book for so long about my life and the trials and things I have gone through but haven't because I haven't wanted to hurt anyone in my writing - so I have decided - why not start a blog - just tell some of my old stories and as new stories arrive tell those too. So one day - when I get ready to write that book I will have a head start ... maybe my grandchildren will know more about me than most grandchildren ever know about their grandparents.
So the basics about me: My daughter is my life! Her name is DJ which is short for Dakota Joy. There are days I conquer in life that without her I wouldn't know what to do!
I have changed a lot over the past few years thanks to a lot of things I went through in my life, a lot of things I lost, and a lot of people I pushed away. I have changed even more over the past year or so and have come to a lot of realizations!!!
I have a wonderful family, a great job, and extraordinary friends! I have 3 nephews and 2 nieces that I love very much. I have an older sister and a younger brother and its not until you go through things in your life that you realize just how much they are there for you. Over the past few years I have never been so proud of anyone as I have been my brother (yet another blog for me to post)
I believe we all make mistakes in our lives... I am not sure if I believe in regrets because if we regret anything - we aren't who we are...but I believe that we can wish we could go back to one point in our life and make a different decision then the one that we made. I think if you have it in you to do all you can to go back and correct that mistake then you should do everything you can to fix it...I am!!
I strongly believe that if you go through life saying you died with one true friend that you were lucky. I am thankful for each and every friend that I have had because each and every one was a different experience and different time in my life...I have lost some very close friends and moved away from some great friends...but I have been lucky to make one of my best friends my daughter.
I have also gained some great friends that I am very thankful for each day ... I don't know what I would do without them! From those things I have learned about friendships - I cherish things in life more now. You never know what you have got in life until you lose it or almost lose it - by death or just loss. I love pictures and I LOVE to talk!
I am brutally honest and most of my friends appreciate it! I have a very demanding job and I love it ... my job is an important part of my life because its not just a job or a paycheck, its my career... That's the basics! Let the blogging begin!